What Do Men Struggle With Most?
What Do Men Struggle With Most?
What do men struggle with the most and why is this an area for a blog post… Well, there are an expanse of areas where men find struggle and often these roads lead to lonely places. One of the most common issues men struggle with is mental health, primarily due to societal pressures to suppress emotions which leads to higher rates of depression, anxiety and even suicide. Many of us have unfortunately had experience of men who have left us early, when the pain becomes too much that the only escape they can see is that of death, a permanent exit leaving behind a trail of pain. Data suggests that men account for around 75% of suicides which is a heart-wrenching statistic and shows the need for change in our societies.
Our culture has created an environment where men suppress their emotions meaning in those moments of deep pain or loneliness, a large majority of males mask their truth rather than speaking openly and getting the support they are needing. This is an area where we must change the expectations of what is accepted. We have generally been conditioned to believe that strength comes from ‘not having pain’ which is why most men hide their true emotions, when really, true strength comes from being authentic and sharing the weight you are carrying. Being able to stand in an open space and share that you are struggling is a true strength, especially considering how difficult it has been for men to express their emotions. In our day and age, being able to stand in your power of authenticity and share what you are carrying is true masculinity. Having the strength to show your vulnerabilities and be a light for other men to follow is what we are needing in our culture. If we are to truly bring about positive change, then we must alter our expectations and perceptions of what is acceptable for men. The archetypal man holds space for others to be their true selves and provides a safe setting for this. The prime setting of this is to lead by example, living with authenticity as a man and sharing vulnerabilities to show that this is an acceptable trait of a human. We are not robots, we have a wide range of emotions and these are all part of the human experience. The true power is to be accepting of these emotions and to acknowledge that each emotion is an energy expressing itself in the body, simply needing the space to be felt so that it can be released. If emotions aren’t allowed the space to be felt, then these energies are simply stored within the body which ultimately leads to illnesses where energies are trapped in the body rather than being allowed to flow freely.
Loneliness is another big factor of issues men tend to struggle with. The journey through life of making those transitions to different phases in which certain connections fade away which can leave a big hole within. We hold hands with certain individuals in life, via these connections formed, until we’re ready to move in a different direction. We are not typically taught about these natural waves in life and it can be typical for us to fight to hold onto connections rather than let them go naturally. If you were to picture a bed of flowers, beautiful and ranging in colour, over time, some of these flowers would lose their life. They would fade away, losing their colour but still taking up space in the flower bed. It is natural to prune and remove the old plants that are no longer serving which creates space for the new seeds to germinate and begin to form. This metaphor can be used for an individual parting ways with previous connections that once shone beside one another - sometimes, these connections naturally lose their colour and space has to be created for the new seeds of connection to form. It is a natural part of life but can be vastly difficult nonetheless, hence why the power of authenticity shines through again as we must be living our true selves to make true beneficial connections. Much of life is a performance with most people showing an aspect of themselves to portray themselves in a certain light in the hope of influencing another to see them in a particular way; however, if we are performing to make these connections, then they will never be true or deep as we are not showing our genuine self and thus attracting people who don’t align with our true self. Authenticity is a superpower and is essential for strong connections to be formed - this is why our facilitators carry this energy, being a light for others to follow. Setting an example that it is safe to be our authentic selves allows for others to follow suit which leads to strong connections being formed in an instant as there is no ‘performing’.
There are many areas where these issues intertwine and the solutions are often related; issues such as dating and relationships, work/identity and physical health. It is common for men to have struggles arise with these sort of topics and even having a space to share what you are going through is a massive help. Being able to share what you’re going through allows you to create a bit of space within your own mind which is a huge part of the solution as often our minds are too busy to make any solid progress. Additionally, with many of these issues being known areas for men, there will be many beneficial conversations available that provide insight or an alternative perspective which is often what is so useful as we are typically only able to view things from our unique perspective of the situation.
Naturally, there can be many difficulties with the journey of being a man, but there are other options available beyond what the statistics would suggest and thanks to The Brotherhood Community we have seen these alternative routes have amazing success which is ultimately what it’s all about. Our groups are led with authenticity showing men that is okay to share what we are each carrying and we see an incredible amount of growth off the back of conversations. We also offer weekly group discussions exploring various topics or just sharing what has been arising in our lives. The retreats and workshops naturally are where we see the most growth and evolution in men so we take great pride in these with many exciting opportunities to get involved for those curious.
Feel free to reach out to find out a bit more about upcoming events, rites of passage and expeditions.
